Asuka feels as if all of the air in her has been sucked out. Misato's reached down into her core and torn out something central to her own identity. To how she thinks. How she sees the world. Her eyes, red from tears, are wide and staring. Her legs don't seem to want to work and she slowly slides back down the doorframe until she's folded into a mess on the bathroom floor, mouth gaping. She can't catch her breath for a moment. That can't be true, she saw her mother die, she watched her waste away in that hospital bed until she finally ended it.

But there's something in the way Misato looks at her that tells her it's all completely true.

"I - that's impossible-" Asuka's thoughts are a whirlwind. It can't be true, it shouldn't be true, but she has no idea how the Eva actually works. She just pilots it. She doesn't repair it or run tests. So it might be true. It probably is.

"Why?"

The word tears out of her in a sound that's almost another wail.

"Why would they do that to me?"

They tore away her life. They made her this. All of her own self-loathing and hatred and her wretchedness are because of them. Or did her mother choose to leave? Did she want to be trapped in a titan made of machinery and alien flesh?

"That's not-!"

There's anger in her voice and a childish notion of life ever being fair. She's going to kill them. She's going to kill all of them for doing this to her. And they won't be able to stop her.